Day 41 - Do I Look Crabby??

Brian and I had a fantastic weekend! We decided to put off all the home chores we had on the schedule and do something fun for ourselves instead! Saturday, we hopped in the car about noon and headed towards the Northern Neck of Virginia for Colonial Beach. What a find that was! Colonial Beach boasts the second longest beach in Virginia and it's a great little town! We walked the beach for a little while, picked up a few shells, then had a couple of beers at one of the local beach hangouts. It's only about an hour and a half away from us - we had no idea it was so close. We've always thought that the nearest large beach is Rehoboth or the VA Beach/Newport News area - 3 or 4 hours away! We didn't know we had this wonderful little find almost right around the corner! Granted, it's not on the ocean - it's the Potomac - but there's sand, water and sun. That qualifies as a beach to me! Sunday, we hopped back in the car in the morning and this time, headed in another direction that led us to the Eastern Shore - St. Michaels and Tilghman Island in Maryland. For those of you that know where Brenna and Jeremy live - from Chesapeake Beach, looking straight across the bay, you can see Tilghman Island. Of course, the only way to get there is to take the Bay Bridge so it took us close to a couple of hours. But once we arrived, we weren't disappointed! First stop? St. Michaels and The Crab Claw for lunch. I bet you can guess what I had!!!! Brian had a crab cake sandwich - lunch was a success! After lunch, we did a little window shopping, then hopped back in the car for a drive to Tilghman Island. Not much to see there other than water LOL. It was a ghost town!!! It has one very long street through town with nothing but houses. I think there was a small restaurant and a gas station, but other than that, you're out of luck! They do have a harbor there, however, where they offer skipjack tours. We had intended to do that, but by the time we got there, it was already in the high 90's and with the humidity, nearly unbearable to be outside. So, we opted to do it another time and begin our leisurely drive home instead. It was a fantastic and much needed weekend for both of us.

Not too much to report on my jaws, the changes have slowed dramatically and not much is happening. Unfortunately, the swelling isn't going down very much or as quickly as I'd hoped but each day is getting easier. I still have some pain on the right side when I chew and yawn, but it has gotten considerably better. I'm measuring my range of motion by the number of fingers I can put between my teeth. Two weeks ago, I could only fit one...and now two! So, even though it doesn't seem like much is happening, I AM making progress. I'm eating anything and everything I can get my hands on - steak, chicken, pizza, seafood - but still get either too tired or too sore before I'm full. Because of this, I am eating numerous times a day - this is good and bad. Good for obvious reasons: Nourishment and energy. Bad: Weight. I am back to where I was when I went in for surgery so I'm doing fine but if I continue to eat as I am, I'll soon need my own zip code. :-)

I'll return to see the surgeon on June 30th to make sure he's happy with the progress I've made thus far. I'm pretty confident he'll be pleased with what I'm doing. I am also officially able to exercise and go back to most of my normal routine! Obviously I couldn't go out and run a marathon, but I can carry a loaded laundry basket, that's for damn sure! hehehe Little by little, day by day...that's all I can do and so far, things are coming along nicely.

Day 37 - I'm Lovin' It

I know, I know - I'm a little behind in my writings! But now, the changes are happening much slower so it's really not necessary to do daily postings. Every two to three days will suffice and hopefully, there will be improvement each time! Of course, if a thought pops into my head, something drastic or exciting happens or I have updates from doc appts., I'll be sure to post them, as well.

I'm chewing more and more as the days go on. It's not easy, it hurts and it's still very foreign, but I'm doing it. Each meal is a chore - it's amazing how hard I have to work. Most times, I can't finish the meal because I'm literally too tired from chewing, whether I'm full or not. Each meal that I chew means progress. I do, however, have a serious addiction to mashed potatoes and could eat them every day! We found these great single serving Bob Evans mashed potatoes shortly after surgery and they were great for quick cooking and straining. We're still buying them because they are a welcome break every once in a while - though I now eat them with a small spoon instead. :-) The small victories are the best ones!

Chewing brings cravings. The more I begin to eat normally, the more things I WANT to eat. Tonight's craving was something greasy, something bad for me and something we did NOT have to make at home. I told Brian of my desires and he said he could go for the same thing. From the picture, I'm sure you can see where our dinner came from! One of the drawbacks to these cravings is the fact that I can't open my mouth very far. It's getting better, but verrrrrry slowly...and definitely not daily! But tonight, I proved to myself that I can do it, that I can beat this. Not only did I eat all 10 of my chicken nuggets (which were fantastic, by the way), but I also ordered a simple cheeseburger - and ate it like a real person! It took forever and was cold by the time I was done, but I did it and that's all that matters!

So let's see...I've been back to work nearly a full week now! It's been good to be back in the swing of things. It's harder than I expected but I'm enjoying it. Talking is very difficult and with the swelling, my cheeks are digging into my braces. Shredded cheeks = not fun. The elastics that I'm wearing, coupled with the numbness & swelling, makes a 10 minute conversation seem like a Senate hearing. I just keep telling myself that it'll get better, it'll get easier.

Instant gratification is NOT the name of this insane game!

Day 34 - Chew on this!

Just because I haven't posted in a few days doesn't mean that things aren't happening around here! We had a very nice (and busy) weekend and today, I went back to work. It was a busy morning and it was tough. Although it's been nice having the splint off, I'm realizing just how far I have to go before things are back to normal. My cheeks are still very swollen and because of this, rub against my braces so they are extremely irritated and sore. The less I talk, the better it is. With the phone ringing and people coming in my office this morning, I was forced to talk a lot and wow, do I hurt. It's not as easy as it seems! I was so happy to come home where I didn't have to talk to anyone!!! But, no pain, no gain - at least that's what I was always told - just gotta keep trudging along. :-)

Now for the fun stuff - Iron Man, Transformers - they've got nothing on us jaw surgery patients! Here are the before and after xrays to date. The "before" shots were taken in September & October 2009 and I just had the "after" shots taken last Thursday. I've got a good amount of titanium in my face now, huh? And check out the difference in the profile shot! I had them side by side on my screen and was astonished! Crazy!

I guess there are a few changes to report. I seem to be getting a small amount of feeling back on the left side of my face. I've got nearly all the feeling back now in my nose and I'm getting better sensation on the left side of my face so I'm hoping this means things are moving in the right direction. My lips are still "on fire" and they hurt. My chin is also sensitive this way. But, little by little, things are changing. Pictures don't show it much, but there is still a large amount of swelling in my face that will take months to go down. But, my breathing is much, much better and as the swelling goes down on the left side, it improves. I'm beginning to think I just might breathe like a normal person after all!

Lastly....I'm proud to say that as of last Thursday, I've not used a syringe for dinner! Brian and I went out on Saturday evening and I ate in public for the first time with my new mouth! Now get this - it's the craziest thing and I still can't figure it out. I know where my mouth is. I've been eating with a fork since I was young. But I can't for the life of me get the fork between my teeth on the first try. Really. I'm not joking. It's like the "are you drunk" tests the officer gives people on the highway - you know the one - "close your eyes and touch your nose". I couldn't hit my mouth if someone PAID me! It's insane and embarrassing! And chewing - ha, that's a joke! I can only explain it by saying that it feels absolutely, 100% wrong! It's not what I'm used to - my teeth are in a completely different place and it doesn't work! It will, but right now, it doesn't but I'm trying! I look ridiculous but I WILL eat! hehe

And with that...it's dinner time. Pizza's on the menu tonight! Wish me luck!

Day 31 Continued - Life Begins Again

To celebrate my new found freedom, I all but begged Brian to take me out for dinner! I didn't care what I could eat (if anything!) but I wanted to try!! Boy, did I! Chez Andree, here we come!

It wasn't easy, and everything about it feels SO wrong! I can't open my mouth more than about an inch, so little pieces is the name of the game for now. But for the first time in a month, I was able to chew food! Because my gums are still numb (which means I also can't feel my teeth), I couldn't feel where the food was, I just knew it was there. It's the strangest feeling ever! It didn't hurt, but because the muscles are now learning how to do this again, it was uncomfortable, for instance, to move my tongue from one side to the other - something we just take for granted when we eat. Brian made a good point last night - I need to be careful with food temperature so I don't burn myself - something I hadn't even thought of! But since my lips still don't work right, blowing on my food proved to be humorous. :-) And the butter dripping down my chin that Brian had to quietly tell me to wipe off? I knew it was there - uh-huh - really, I did! Riiiiiiiight! We just had to document the first bite!!!

What a fantastic night! Another new journey begins...

Day 31 - Freedom

As I might have mentioned before (hehe), I went to see the surgeon on Thursday to have my splint removed. HEAVEN!!!!!!!!! The removal was painless, just a few snips of wire and it was out. I also had some stitches that hadn't worked their way out so those were removed, as well. Everything inside my mouth looks good and I'm healing nicely. Oh, the freedom to open my mouth was amazing! Different from the other times because now, I didn't have this large piece of heavy plastic to get in the way of anything!!!

Finally.....a smile without the plastic!

And THIS is the man that took me apart and put me back together again. Meet Dr. Posnick!

I'll go back to visit Dr. Posnick in three weeks where he'll check my bite and make sure I'm progressing well. I still have a lot of swelling in my face, (much more than pictures show) and he told me it will probably be a full 6 months before everything is where it should be. My smile looks funny, but this will all work itself out, it just takes time. The best news of the day - I was given the okay to get my life back - begin chewing and eating again! Soft foods to start.....I'm okay with that! It will take some getting used to as my jaws are in completely different positions than they have been for the last 39 years and there may be a little pain with chewing, but that's all to be expected. I'm okay with that, too! Ahhhh, but first things first. Since they had to cut the wires of my braces during surgery (to attach the splint), the next stop was to see Dr. Gerlein to have the old wires and surgical hooks removed and new wires and powerchains put in place. And what fun THAT was! It was Hawaiian Day at Gerlein Orthodontics!!! Here is the awesome man who now has the job of giving me a smile to be proud of - Dr. Gerlein!

I finally feel like we're making progress and that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I've got some of Aimee back...I've missed me!

Thursday evening agenda ---------- dinner at Chez Andree!!

...To Be Continued...

Day 30 - Feels Like Christmas Eve

Remember the feeling? You're 6 years old, it's Christmas Eve and it's almost time for Santa to come! Your mom says "...but Santa won't come down the chimney until you're fast asleep." Ugh...so even though it's early, you just have to go to bed and close your eyes...you can't stand the anticipation and if you fall asleep, it'll quickly be tomorrow! But oh oh, if you aren't sleeping, Santa and his sleigh are just going to whooooosh right past your house to little Billy's down the street! And... you can't sleep because you're way too excited! What a predicament!

Fast forward...I'm 39 years old and this is how I feel - right here, right now. No, I'm not going insane and think that Santa is coming down my chimney this evening. I didn't even have a Billy that lived down the street. This is not child's play. My splint comes off tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am so excited that I can't go to sleep. But I want to sleep because then tomorrow will be here quicker. But I just can't!!!! What a predicament!

Day 29 - My My, How Time Flies

It's been almost a month since my surgery. Time sure flies when you're having fun! Riiiight! LOL It has been a very long 29 days, but I'm slowly beginning to see and feel the improvements. I've now almost regained all the feeling in my nose. This is helpful because my nose has been itching like crazy, but I can't make it go away! I could scratch until there's no skin left and that itch would still be there! Ugh - so frustrating! Unfortunately, the feeling in the left side of my face and my mouth are both taking longer to return. However, I think I feel a little difference in my upper lip so let's hope those nerves are working quickly and it means things are going to begin improving even more!

Only 2 1/2 more days until the splint is removed. I've had a down week but having this within my reach, I'm trying to remain a bit more positive. I know it will make a big difference in how I feel. I'm looking forward to being able to talk again so that I can take back that bit of me that's been lost. I know I won't be having a steak anytime soon, but I'll graduate to some soft foods and slowly work my way up. Eating (or lack thereof) has not been a big deal for me. In fact, it's been much easier than I anticipated. Maybe it's because I've been eating so well. Maybe it's because before the surgery, I had prepared myself well and had talked myself into the fact that it would be impossible for me to eat anything but soup. Either way, food really hasn't been an issue.

Looking back, a month has gone by quickly. Three weeks ago, I would have preferred being strung up by my toenails than having to go through what I did. Okay, so I'm kidding about this....kind of. I did a good amount of research in the year I had to prepare. I read blogs, I watched videos and checked out nearly every website I could find. I figured that if I read enough, I'd know it all and would know exactly what to expect. I don't think it's possible to be 100% prepared for this because each and every person is different in their recovery. Many will tell you there's no pain. I'm here to tell you they're full of s*&t. I had pain - a good amount of it, too! With that said...the pain I had is no longer there and I can barely remember it. So, I'm going to chalk this up to the "giving birth" philosophy - y'all know what I'm talking about, so 'nuff said. I'm still not sure what to make of my "look". It's not nearly as drastic as some, yet there's a definite difference. What I see in the mirror is different from what everyone else sees. I wasn't well enough prepared for this. I can't explain it and you probably can't understand it. And because for the next few months, my face will continue to change, it's hard to look at myself and like what I see. So, tell me all you want that I look nice and I thank you. But please don't be upset or offended if I don't get as excited as you are about the progression. It'll take time.

Happy note - Brian got a new toy, and a well-deserved one at that!! It's a side by side charcoal/gas grill with an attached smoker on one side and a burner on the other. I think he's still drooling!!! This thing is massive and looks absolutely wonderful on the back patio! It's been seasoned and is now ready for its maiden voyage - burgers, anyone?

Day 27 - Moving Right Along

Feeling a little better today, my throat doesn't seem to be quite as sore as it has been the last couple of days. Let's hope that it's making a beeline out of my system! Still swollen, mostly on the left side. Pics don't show it as much, but I've still got a good bit under my left eye and along the side of my nose. It seems to be tingling a lot in the last couple of days. I'm taking that as a positive sign that the nerves in that area are beginning to fire and the feeling is slowly going to begin coming back! The Squiggles are still there and the shooting pains are also there from time to time. They're very uncomfortable but fortunately, only last for a second or two. All in all, things seem to be progressing nicely. Not much to see in terms of difference, but here are a couple of updated pics:

Brian took the Shrimp Challenge....and won!!!!! Another successful blended dish last night...shrimp fettuccini alfredo. I don't know how he does it, but he manages to make everything taste fantastic! And along with these great tasting dinners comes the weight....I'm happy to say that I'm putting on what I lost in the first couple of weeks. I'm not back to where I was before surgery, but pretty close. I'm happy with this.

Provided things continue to progress well, I'm looking at going back to work half time on the 14th. Just need to continue to work on my energy level - it seems to be working against me! But, once the splint is off, I'll at least be able to answer the phone and talk with tenants - a plus. I miss working, though, and am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. A HUGE thank you to Paul for being patient and to Cheryl for being there for me. :-)

I'd love nothing more than to have a Root Beer Freeze for dinner, but really, that's just not right. There's absolutely NO nutritional value (unless "tasting yummy" is a new food group) and I know if I have one, I'll be hungry about 30 minutes later. So.....what to have? Chicken pot pie? Haven't tried that yet. Coconut chicken? Haven't tried that either! But I've got both of them in the freezer just waiting to be had! :-) I know, I know....the anticipation is just killing you, right? Yes, this IS one of the excitements of my day. *sigh*

I've been thinking lately of the things I've really miss now that it's been a month (yikes, it's really almost been that long!!). To name a few: I miss being able to call and make/cancel my own appointments. I miss talking with my parents (both sets). I miss chewing and enjoying the texture of foods. I miss licking food off my fingers (seriously...I can't stick my tongue out right now, remember??). I miss brushing & flossing my teeth. I miss blowing my nose.

I will never take the small things in life for granted - ever again!

Day 25 - Look Ma, No Bands!

Three times a day for one hour at a time, my own little piece of heaven. That's exactly what it's like when I get to take the elastics off for those periods of time. Ahhhhh, something so simple, yet it means so much. But ouch - when I lose control of them, they sure can snap! They're very easy to take off, not so much to put back on but I'm doing my best! It's such a wonderful feeling when they're off, much less confining. It somehow makes me realize that there IS a light at the end of this dirty, drafty tunnel.

I'm not feeling great today. I've got a bit of a sore throat. I'm not sure if it's just some drainage from the surgery or if I've got a bit of a cold. Either way, I'm having kind of a blah day. It's probably nothing a nice glass of wine on the patio can't cure. :-)

I can't forget to tell you about dinner last night! Brian said he was going to make chicken, I asked what KIND. He said it would have an oriental flair...that it was a "Chicken Surprise". This didn't scare me in the least - I can always count on whatever he makes to be good. And oh boy, was it ever!!! Talk about fancy and colorful! A peanutty, oriental chicken with vegetables, rice and beets...check this out!!



The countdown is on. Next Thursday, the splint comes off. Do you realize that, including today, it's only 7 days away?? Not that I'm really counting or paying attention...

Quick update - right side, no numbness. Left side, partial numbness. Nose - totally numb and itchy - frustrating. Chin - partial numbness, think I'm getting some feeling back. Feels very strange and from time to time, painful in a weird sort of way. Lips...still burning and painful. For me, the latter is the hardest because I really like to kiss my husband and it doesn't feel good right now. :-( Can't wait till the feeling comes back.

I'm craving seafood - haven't had any since surgery, but I'm also not sure just how it would taste blended. I know the thought of it is NOT appealing. Ooooh, a challenge!

Day 23 - All Banded Up & Nowhere To Go!

Naps - I've never been one to take them.  I've changed my mind.  I want to take one.  I think I like them. "Nuff said.

Last night's dinner was pizza.  Tonight, burgers and mashed potatoes.....yum!!!

Had my 3rd appointment with the surgeon today.  First things first...I have the most awesome doctors!  Today was a good day...we had some good laughs and each day I make Dr. Posnick smile is a good day!  Things look good - the incisions are healing nicely and the swelling is slowly going down.  I love it when they take the bands off, it feels SO good to open my mouth!  And speaking of bands...good news.  I now get to take the bands off 3 times a day for an hour at a time!  Heaven!  Tonight was my first try at it, but only because I didn't have a choice.  I was brushing my teeth and one of the back bands came off.  Getting it back on proved to be easier than expected..except it doesn't seem to want to stay put!  Grrrrr.  Just what I need to do...swallow rubber bands in my sleep!  lol   Anyway,  back to the doc - I also brush my teeth when I'm there.  Unfortunately, I still can't quite maneuver the toothbrush well enough to get the insides of my teeth because my mouth doesn't open far enough.  I bet I'm growing some nice, wool sweaters in there!  hehe  I have one last bit of good news and this one tops all today.  Instead of a week from Monday (the 14th), I will be getting my splint off next Thursday (10th), then a quick trip to the orthodontist to have brand new wires (sans hooks, thank goodness!) put on!!   That deserves a big YEEEE-HAWWWWW!  :-)  Don't get too excited for me though, this doesn't mean that everything goes right back to normal!  Far from it.  The splint will be off, but I'll still have to eat soft foods and it'll be a while before my jaw will work as it normally should.  For now, though, I don't want to focus on that....I want to go back to the YEEEE-HAWWWWW instead! 

One of the staples of my diet is Ensure.  These wonderful little things are lifesavers!  These are my "in-betweens"...I drink them whenever I'm feeling hungry for a snack and they work wonders!  I try my best to have regular meals now - usually it's Malt-O-Meal for breakfast, the previous night's dinner as a lunch leftover and then whatever is on the menu for that evening's dinner.  But in between, Ensure does the trick and surprisingly enough, even after three weeks, I'm not tired of them!  I was shocked to see the variety...Coffee Latte, Chocolate Malt, Vanilla, Banana Cream, Strawberry...gives me some good choices!  With that said...when this is all done, I never want to see an adult nutritional drink again!  :-)

Brian had a steak tonight - it hurt my feelings.  Okay, maybe not...but it hurt my stomach's feelings!  He was growled at!  *sigh*....that's my daily craving and I can't wait till I can again chomp into a side of beef!

Day 22 - Snap!

It's a good thing I see the surgeon tomorrow to have my bands replaced because tonight, I'm missing some!  I won't go into detail, but I snapped my bands on the right side tonight!  Oops!  It's not a big deal but I must say that even though they should be there, it sure does relieve a lot of pressure NOT having them there!  Sure wish I didn't HAVE to get new ones tomorrow!

I'm still very tired each day - this has really been kicking my butt.  I just don't have my normal energy level back yet!  I want to do something around here, but when I do, it's like I take two steps backwards.  Sheesh, I can't wait to feel normal again!

The squiggles are still there, the numbness, tingling and pins and needles are still there, just relocating...lol....and that's about it! 

I'm going to bed.