Day 21 - Anyone Wanna Go Camping?

I ask that because last night, Brian and I did just that!  Well, sort of.  I think I've said this before, but let me say it again.  My husband is a genius!  Blended food...so far, we've had nothing but good luck, but it's safe to say it's a pain in the you-know-what to make it.  It's not simple and takes a good bit of time to get to the finished product.  Brian had a fantastic thought - let's run to REI and see what kind of camping food they have!  Uh huh - REALLY!  For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about - it's ready-made food, just add water and there you have it!  We picked up two packages...lasagna and enchiladas and last night's choice was lasagna.  The verdict?  It works!  Yes!  It's tasty!  The only thing missing was the tent!  :-)

We got out of the house yesterday for a few hours and attended the Memorial Day Concert in DC.  The concert was very good and we had a nice time.  Lots of celebrities - Emcee's were Gary Sinise (CSI:NY) and Joe Mantegna (Criminal Minds).  Lionel Richie, Brad Paisley, Dennis Haysbert (State Farm commercials and Pres. Palmer on 24), Joint Chiefs of Staff, National Symphony and so many more.  It was hot and because of heightened security, we had to stand in line for a long time before getting in while they checked each person.  We found shade at the concert, but then had some bad commuting luck heading home afterwards and what should have taken us 30 minutes took 2 hours.  Needless to say, we were exhausted by the time we got home.  I'm a bit swollen and achy today and super tired.  Maybe a little too much too soon, but we had a good time while we were there and I'm glad we went.  And to my doc, if you're reading this - I've already scolded myself so you're covered. :-)

Today has been a laid back day for me.  We did run to a local nursery for some shrubs for the front yard.  Brian spent the latter part of the afternoon planting them and they look great!  Thanks, honey!

I feel my attitude going downhill just a little bit in the last couple of days.  I'm trying to stay upbeat, but things are getting frustrating.  I still have no feeling on the left side of my face and also my lips.  I'm not able to drink out of a glass very well and my syringes are all finally junk.  :-(  It's not a good feeling when you're hungry and can't expel anything from the syringe.  You'd think it would be easy to get more of them, right?  Not so.  We have checked with the pharmacy, they have none.  We checked with a medical supply company and even though the ones they had weren't the same ones I'm using, we couldn't buy them anyway because we need a prescription from the doc to buy them.  My lips are numb and the inside of my mouth is so extremely sensitive to hot and cold that it's horrible trying to drink out of a glass.  Fortunately, one of my wonderful surgery buddies is able to get them - she's picking them up and sending them my way!  Audra, you're a lifesaver - thank you SO much!  I can't wait for the splint to come out - time is passing slowly now and with two weeks to go, it seems like an eternity.  It can't come soon enough.  I know it'll get better - it HAS gotten better - I suppose it's a poor me day.  I'm okay with that and don't feel bad about it, either. 

Enough bitching...I'm done now.  It's been a good weekend and tonight, even better.  We're having burgers! 

My daily craving:  Exactly what we're having for dinner tonight!  Really!

Day 19 - Sensations...

A new day and new sensations.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, the nerves in my face are going crazy.  The newest sensation is one I call "the squiggles".  It's difficult to explain what they are, but the best way I can describe it is to say that it feels as if little feet are running over my face - from my chin to my cheek, or my cheek to my nose, or one side of my chin to the other - it's crazy and it almost tickles.  My face also itches and it's not fun.  It's not fun because it only itches where it's numb and when I scratch, it doesn't do a thing to make the itch go away!  Very frustrating!  I've begun getting some shooting pains from time to time in my jaw and cheeks, and my teeth sometimes ache.  I suspect it's normal, just the healing process, but it can be agonizing nonetheless.

A yummy dinner tonight of southwest (chipotle) chicken and rice.  I'm telling you, I'm beginning to enjoy dining at Chez Darling!  We capped it off with a Rootbeer Freeze for dessert while watching the movie 2012.  Not bad!

But, I'm still craving a big, fat ribeye!  (couldn't resist)

I'll leave you this evening with some updated photos - slowly but surely, things are progressing!  Nighty night, all!

Day 18 - Baby Steps

I'm a day late in posting this so I'll do it this morning and post today's excitement this evening so I'm back on track.

I've got cabin fever.  Bad!  It's a catch 22 though....I want to get out, but I'm just too tired to do so.  I conquered that yesterday and Brian helped it along.  We've done virtually nothing since my surgery and thankfully, we've dealt with it pretty well and haven't killed one another - yet!  lol  So, to get ahead of the game, I made a request yesterday of my dear husband, and he relented!  We went to one of our local hangouts, Bistro Bistro, for Happy Hour!!!!  I know what you're thinking...and no, I didn't bring my syringe with me!  LOL  I drank like a big girl this time!  In the hour and a half or so that we were there, I managed to drink only about half my margarita but it tasted ohhhhhhh, so good and was well worth it!  And it was wonderful to get out of the house and do something different.  

Dinner.  I've been mentioning the foods I've been eating and just how tasty those foods have been.  I've also shown you the end result.  But what you haven't heard (or seen) is the work that goes into making one of my "looks to be so simple" meals.  The food prep time is all different, depending on what's being made.  But once the food is done, it has to go into the food processor.  Once there, it has to be thinned while blending.  We're not done yet.  Once it's the correct consistency, it has to be strained as I can't have any chunks of food in what I eat.  Ahhh, but when it's strained, it's now cold so the warm up begins!   All in all, it's quite a process and when all is said and done - a HUGE mess!  Last night's meal was a wonderful veal dish, with mashed potatoes.  Super, super tasty, my husband is a genius!  :-)  Here are the before (that is my meal on the left side, in the bowl!) and after shots so you can see it's not quite as simple as you might think!

With the time it took for dinner, we didn't get any update shots on me so we'll do that for the next post.  As for me, the progression is still very slow.  I'm sure that there are some small changes happening, but nothing big enough where I can really tell the difference.  I will tell you that my breathing is MUCH better and although I'm still kind of stuffy on the left side, the right is almost completely clear!  It's going to be heavenly when this splint comes out!

And On The 17th Day...

...not a damn thing changed!  LOL  It's going to be a short one tonight because I'm tired and really don't have anything new to report.   This isn't a bad thing, things have just slowed down for a bit.  The positive thing is that I'm not getting worse...it can only get better from here!  :-) 

Dinner tonight was another winner - my husband never ceases to amaze me!  Rice, veggies and pesto - it was mmmmmmm mmmmmmm good!  :-)  One big bowl of green!  hehehe  Eating from a syringe is beginning to get on my nerves, though.  As I watched Brian eat a steak tonight, I realized just how much I miss just grabbing something and taking a big bite out of it!  Surprisingly, although I get a taste for things now and then, I'm not really struggling with food jealousy (i.e. Brian's steak).  This has got to be because of the wonderful meals he has been preparing for me - I'm getting all the taste sensations so the only thing lacking is eating with regular adult utensils!  No complaints!!

So with that, I'll close for the evening.  Nothing exciting, no earth shattering news.  I'm completely fine with that. 

Day 16, But Who's Counting??

Me!

Good news is...my smile is there!  Bad news is...I can't FEEL it!  lol

The good night's sleep thing was short lived as I didn't get ANY last night.  I finally moved down to the couch at about 4 a.m., was up for another couple of hours, then finally fell asleep around 6:30 and was able to sleep until 7:45, just in time to say goodbye to my husband as he ran out the door.  :-)  *sigh*  It will get better though, I know it!

Dinner tonight was another yummy one....Brian made chili for me!  This whole blended diet thing is going pretty well!  Of course, when I'm left on my own, the toughest part of making it is opening the bottle of Ensure - those caps are really tight!!!!!!  :-)  Looking for some help from all my "followers".  What do YOU think would taste good blended?  Give us your thoughts.  You pick, we'll try, and then let you know how it tasted! 

My weight is holding pretty steady and for that, I'm glad.  I wish I could exercise a bit more, but for now, I have to settle for short and easy walks up and down the sidewalk each day.  It's better than nothing.

I recently found a blog online, someone else chronicling their jaw surgery.  The owner of the blog, Graham, was two months into his recovery on the day I returned home from the hospital.  I was searching for any and all help, something or someone to give me the strength to keep on keepin' on.  I posted a comment and Graham replied almost right away and instantly made me feel better.  Shortly after that, a reply from others on their own roads to recovery....and now, two weeks later, I've found new friends.  For this, I'm SO grateful.  Graham, Audra, Tara, Suzie.....thank you!

Day 15 - Seeing Red

..and I don't mean because I'm angry!  Look at this and take a guess what I had for dinner! (answer at the end of the post)

Today was a strange day.  Not bad, just strange.  Last night was the best night's sleep I've had since the first day as I slept nearly 5 hours, a good thing - so you'd think I'd be well rested today.  I guess it wasn't enough.  I was up for a couple of hours this morning and then, all of a sudden, sitting straight up on the couch, I fell asleep.  It was on and off like that for the better part of the day - just a little weird.  I never did quite get into a rhythm.

I've got a funny for you though!  I'm not sure what changed - if the splint shifted (which I don't think is possible) or if maybe swelling is affecting it, but I now squeak.  I can't explain how it happened or why, but it's just plain funny!  What can I say - check out this link and you'll get a laugh??   Squeaky!!

My swelling went down quite a bit at the beginning but now it's slowed.  Still swollen, especially on the left side.  I have most of the feeling on the right side of my face but my left is still almost all numb.  My lips bother me a lot, it's a very unsettling feeling and actually hurts.  It almost feels like they're on fire or like someone is slicing me with a knife.  It's hard to describe unless you experience it.  I'll be glad when this goes away, but it could be months.  I'm not nearly as congested as when I first came home from the hospital, but it's still there.  I still can't blow my nose - hoping to be able to do that soon, that'll make a HUGE difference and will feel SO good!

Did you guess what I had for dinner?  PIZZA!!!  Hahahaha.....yep!  Really!  We're 4 for 4!!!  Chicken fettuccini, vegetable curry & rice, burgers & mashed potatoes and now, pizza!  All good and definite do overs!  Check out the process:

Can you believe that something that looks SO horrible can really taste good?  It can!  I am SO not starving!!!

My daily craving:  Lemon butter & garlic tilapia...yummmmm

Day 14 - Lovely

Day 14 brought my second surgeon visit - two weeks down, three to go!  As will be the case for another three weeks, the visit today was to replace the bands that are holding my jaws together and to make sure that I'm progressing the way I should be.  Good news and bad news.  The good news is that I AM progressing well and everything is on track, as it should be.  My gums are healing nicely, as are my jaws.  The bad news?  I got scolded by Neil and Dr. Posnick. :-(  I've been trying SO hard to talk and in doing so, I'm stretching the bands as I do so.  Well, it's putting too much pressure on my upper jaw when I do this and it's slowing down the healing process.  Oops!  So....even though I am ABLE to move my jaw a little bit, I CAN'T do it, per my docs.  *sigh*  Anyway......Ashley went along to my appt. today and took some pics.  When I'm at Dr. Posnick's office, they remove the bands, check my bite, allow me to brush my teeth and open my mouth just a bit, then put the bands back on...

Prior to surgery, I showed you pictures of the splint that I would have in my mouth after the surgery, the one that would keep my jaws in the correct position while banded shut.  While necessary, it's a complete pain in the butt!  With the splint in place, I can't use a spoon or anything to put even liquids into my mouth because it sits between my top and bottom teeth.  It's also a catch all for food and drinks!  Three more weeks and it's gone!

Enough about the doc - who wants to hear about that boring stuff anyway!  :-)  Let's talk about dinner!!  First and foremost, I want everyone to know that I LOVE MY HUSBAND!  If it weren't for him, I would be curled up in a ball somewhere, withering away.  He's not going to let that happen, not a chance!  Tonights menu at Chez Darling was vegetable curry and rice.  I don't know how he made it or what he used, but it was FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!  I am NOT starving and there IS life beyond Ensure and protein shakes!

There is no daily craving because I am FULL!!!!!!!!!

Yummylicious!

Just a side note while I'm thinking about it.  Last night, Brian made burgers.  When they were done, he put mine in the food processor.  Now before you go "ewwwww", don't judge!  He put the seasoned burger and onions in, along with some beef broth.  Then, once it was liquified, a little touch of ketchup.  Strained it and there you have it!  Believe it or not, it tasted just like a burger and was fantastic!!!!!!  I also warmed up some microwave mashed potatoes, added some milk, butter, salt and pepper.  It was a HELL of a meal and I LOVED it!  Don't knock it till you try it!

Day 13 - Smile!

Look at that, folks....that's a smile coming from my face!  I can't feel it, but I'm doin' it!  LOL  I'm just so glad that I have movement in my face.  It's not all there yet, but it's coming along nicely - I'm feeling pretty good about it.  Today has been a decent day.  My breathing has improved and can only get better from here.  My chief complaint right now is the severe pain I have inside my mouth where the cuts, bruising and incisions are.  Unfortunately, the nerves are coming alive and allowing me to feel the pain - not my preference but I highly doubt there's a thing I can do about it! 

I visit the doc tomorrow afternoon at 1:30 pm to have the bands replaced.  Because my mouth is so sore, I'm petrified to go but know that I don't have a choice.  Cross your fingers that by some stroke of luck, my mouth numbs between now and then so I don't have to deal with the pain!!!

Here are a couple of pictures that give insight into my daily routine.  The first picture is of the staples of my day to day existence.  You'll notice Ensure, which I'm growing to like more and more.  Strawberry is so far my favorite!  Soup - of course!  Any kind of soup is good, but again I've got a favorite - Tomato!  I think part of why it's easy is because I don't have to blend it - it tastes good AND it's easy! 

There are a few things that aren't in that pile on our table.  Cream of Wheat is a good one, and of course smoothies and shakes that I make from scratch.  Last night was heavenly!  Brian made chicken fettuccini in white sauce...we blended up my portion and it was fantastic!!!  Tonight, we're going to try burgers.  Hmmmm, should be interesting.  I've always got tomato soup as a backup!

The second picture here is my staging area.  Brian set this up when I first got home from the hospital.  It has gotten smaller since my number of medications has decreased and we've gotten much better at the whole routine so we're a little more organized than we were at the beginning.   It's still a pain in the butt sometimes though!

The process is slower than I would like, but it's going.  It can only get better from here, right?  I can't hear you!!!!

Day 12 - What's New?

Happy weekend everyone!  My spirits are up a little bit today, I'm not feeling too bad.  I still have a lot of pain in my mouth but I'm controlling it well with pain meds and Tylenol so for now, things feel kind of level for me.  Today was the first time I looked in the mirror and actually felt that the swelling might be going down just a little bit.  My judge?  My lower lip - it just doesn't look so big this morning for some reason.  Maybe it's my imagination, maybe it's real.....either way, I'll take it because I'm just plain sick and tired of looking like a member of the Potato Head family.

Hurting or not, I have to laugh at this.  Portions of my face are numb, and even those that I can sort of feel are still dead in some ways.  But, the nerves are firing non stop right now, trying to do their thing.  So, I'll drink slowly from a glass and I'll feel water pouring down my chin, spilling onto my shirt.  Only when I go to wipe it off, there's nothing there!  Yet the other day, I was sitting at my computer and all of a sudden, I looked down and there, below me, is a HUGE puddle of spit!  LOL  I had NO idea I was drooling but it was pouring out.  Jeez...Candid Camera would have a field day with me!  hahahaha 

To compare from the other day, here are a couple other pics from today....what do ya think?

I've gained a little weight, 1.4 lbs!!!   Yippee!  Yes, I'm glad I've gained....there will still be a good bit of weight loss during my recovery so I'd much rather keep it going slowly!  I'm feeling good about where I am, it's my target weight for all times so maybe I'll be lucky and can stick it!

Brian and I are trying to be creative about what to do around the house since my lifestyle has changed.  I still can't do much other than take slow walks outdoors.  We played Battleship the other day and as is the case with all games (he is SO not fun to play with...lol), he won.  He also came home the other day with a PS3 and a couple of games.  He said it was for me, but I think it might be a good escape for him, too!  haha  Neither of us are nearly coordinated enough to play the games, but we'll get a good laugh anyway.  Whatever happened to good ole Pac Man and Asteroids, huh??   

I slept in my own bed last night!!!!!!  Okay, well, slept might be an overstatement...I didn't sleep a lot but I was there nonetheless!  It felt nice to be there, like meeting up with an old friend!  :-)  I think I'm no longer banished to the basement! 

I think I'll take advantage of feeling decent and the nice weather before the t-storms start.  Wishing everyone a great weekend!  Love to my friends and family.

My daily craving:  Steak!!!!!!!  I can't stand it anymore...just a big, fat steak, is that too much to ask??

Jumpin' Monkey, It's Day 11!

In honor of it being day 11 (gotta honor SOMETHING!), Ashley came over today to keep me company.  And while she was here, we enjoyed my 2nd attempt at Jumpin' Monkeys - yummmmmmmy!  Not only did she share them with me, but she took in the WHOLE experience.  Do I have an awesome kid or what??  :-)

Day 10 - Ugh - I'd Like To Buy A Zero...

10 days post op...whoopie!!  Surprisingly, the time isn't going as slowly as you'd think, I can't believe it's been this long already.  I go back to Dr. Posnick and Neil on Monday already for my 2nd week checkup.  They'll take the bands off again so I can open my mouth, something I'm very much looking forward to!  I'll get to brush my teeth while I'm there, as well.  I do that at home, but when the bands are off, it's just a little bit easier and I'm hoping that soon, I'll be able to get the toothbrush INSIDE rather than just brushing the braces on the outside!  Anyway, here's the plan for the next 5 weeks - I go back once a week to see them, they'll take the bands off, check my jaw movement and make sure everything is still on track.  My 5th week appt, the one that we're looking forward to, is on June 14th at 1:30 pm.  That's the day that the splint comes off and I'll officially no longer be banded!  I know I've got a long way to go, but I've got my sights set already, you have NO idea how exciting the very thought is right now of not being confined!  Once I get the splint off, I will immediately walk over to Dr. Gerlein's office where he will replace the upper wire on my teeth that Dr. Posnick had to cut during surgery.  So, the countdown begins....25 days to go and Phase I will be done.

As for today...not much improvement in the way of pain or feeling.  I've still got a ton of pressure and it's super frustrating.  My face is tingly and just in the last day or so, has become terribly sensitive to hot and cold.  I don't mean just my mouth, but my face.  Brian and I went out and took a very short walk today to get me out of the house.  Just the cool air against my face makes it hurt.  Neil says that it's because the nerves are already trying to regenerate so there's no telling WHAT I might feel in my face over the course of the next few weeks.  The right side isn't too bad and I've got nearly all the feeling.  The left side is basically numb from just below my left eye, all the down to the middle of my chin.  It doesn't look gigantic, but it feels that way - I just know it's going to explode one of these days.  I hope it doesn't happen out in public, how embarassing would THAT be?   :-)

Now check out this picture!  Fancy, huh? This was my treat for taking a walk and not keeling over!  Wine hasn't tasted particularly good to me since surgery but I'm going to keep trying until I get it right!

Mmmmmm, nice! And how beautiful is that residual bruising that's moving from my face down through my neck and chest.  See the pretty green?  My favorite color!!!!!


I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has sent cards and flowers to the house.  They're all beautiful and even with my stuffy nose, I can catch a whiff from time to time! 

Birthday greetings today to my brother-in-law, Peter from Raleigh!  Wishing you a day just as wonderful as you are!  Love you!

Time to see what kind of broth or smoothie I can make for dinner - AGAIN!  I don't have much of an appetite but know that I need to get something in my system so I'm trying.  So far, my favorite is french onion soup and mixed berry smoothies.  I've got to start branching out.  If anyone has ideas, I'm all ears!

My Daily Craving:  Pizza!!!!!!!

Day 9 - Randoms

Just a few more random shots from today, Day 9 Post Op...

All In All, Not A Bad Day

I'm gonna say that today was, by far, the best day.  Not because there are improvements - on the contrary, my chin pains me, the incisions inside my mouth are on fire, I'm still swollen and my face feels like it could explode at any moment into tiny bits.  Then why, you ask?  Because today at 3 p.m., my husband came downstairs to my room (yes, I have my own room right now) and simply asked if he could take a nap with me.  I don't think you have any idea how sweet it was and how good it felt.  I wasn't napping.  But Brian's working from home this week, and as I said in an earlier post, not only is he taking care of things on HIS end, but he's also taking care of everything for me!  He said his brain was all mushy today from the work he's doing and that he needed a break.  Because my sleeping pattern is so messed up (I don't sleep at night then nap on and off throughout the day), I've been sleeping in the guest bedroom in the basement.  Nothing has been normal now for 9 days.  And although taking naps with my husband is not a part of our normal routine, I'll take it now - in a heartbeat!  An hour lying next to my husband, sound asleep - priceless.

Things I miss:

• My husband
• Wine (I can drink it, just don't have a taste for it now)
• Slim Jims
• Steak
• Being able to drink a glass of liquid without spilling down my front
• Driving
• Talking (although I do surprisingly well!)
• Feeling in my face

 My Daily Craving:

 Brian's Veal Scalloppini with lemon butter, white wine & capers.

Weight loss to date:  13 pounds

It's Official - I'm Hungry

My stomach is gurgling and screaming FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!  So, good morning, belly.....here's a little Strawberry Banana Smoothie.  Mmmmmmmm, tasty!  And it only took an hour and a half to drink 10 oz!  Ugh.  It took me so long to drink it that now I'm hungry again.  It's a vicious cycle!  But, let me toot my own horn just a little bit!  I do still take meds from a syringe, but for water, Gatorade, smoothies...I drink from a glass!  Yep!  Woot Woot!

So eating - it's kind of humorous.  You see, I can't feel anything from my eyes down.  Wait, I take that back.  I have a small amount of feeling in my right cheek.  Other than that, it's all "pins and needles" or completely numb, only the sensation that it might be there.  Frustrating?  Incredibly.  Funny?  Yeah, sort of....lol.  You see, I've been having a pity party for the last couple of days and today, I've decided to try to find something lighthearted in what's happening.   For instance...since my breakfast smoothie tasted so good this morning, I went ALL out and made myself one for lunch!  I can't remember the name of it, but years ago in Willmar, there used to be a deli downtown (then turned into a greek place, I think - next door to the Heritage Bank Building for all you Willmarites).  They made a Jumpin' Monkey.  Yummmmmmy!  I wanted to try to replicate that taste and I must say, I did a pretty darn good job of it!  Ice cream, milk, chocolate syrup, banana and coffee.  It tastes great - but I've been trying to down it now for 30 minutes and I haven't even made a dent!  LOL  It dribbles off the right side of my lip......then I'll lean to the left to get a paper towel and it dribbles off the left side.....I need a bib!  Maybe Ollie would let me borrow one!

Sneak Peek

We took the Flip video cam along to the hospital but little did I know it was actually used!  Yes, I know I LOOK like a willing participant, but I assure you, I have no recollection of the events happenings.  Kind of fun to see anyway...

The first video was taken by Brian in the recovery room immediately following surgery.  The second by Ash, shortly after I'd finally gotten a bed in ICU.

Recovery Room

ICU

Day 8 - Update

Let's do the positive stuff first, shall we?  :-)  Went to my first doc appointment yesterday to make sure everything is healing properly.  All looks good and it looks like I'm on track with no problems at all.  As you know, breathing has been the biggest struggle this past week and for just 5 minutes yesterday, I felt like I was floating on a cloud and that all was right in the world!!!!!  Neil (Dr. Posnick's fellow) removed the bands on each side of my mouth - this will happen once a week for 5 weeks - to check progress.  Then, he had to finish something else up so he left us in the room - unbanded!!  I already have some use of my jaw and to be able to move it and to breathe, unobstructed through my mouth was heavenly!!!  Here I am....look at this!!

 You can see some of the residual bruising on my neck that's slowly going away.  There's not nearly as much bruising as I expected, so I suppose this is another positive thing (hey, I'm grabbing at straws here, throw me a bone...lol).  But check that out!  I was able to open my mouth!

The weight of this week finally came crashing down though, last night.  I'm sure it was a combination of things - tired from my doc appt., numerous sleepless nights, in pain and not being able to breathe - but I crawled off the couch to put my face over the humidifier to get any kind of relief that was possibly out there, and I had a meltdown.  I don't mean the "awww shoot, I'm feeling kind of bad for myself so I'll complain" kind of meltdown.  Nope.  I went all out.  I did it up good.  I lost it.  I sat on the floor, curled up over a humidifier and sobbed for 20 minutes straight.  "Nuff said.

Today isn't terrible.  I still can't breathe very well and my face still feels like it will explode at any moment - the pins and needles/pressure chamber thing really isn't my deal and I don't like it.  Brian says the swelling has gone down a lot in my face.  I don't see it, but I suppose that because my face FEELS like it's about 20x it's normal size, I think it is.  Here are some pics from the last couple of days, I'll let you be the judge.

 Yes, I DO look like a freak!  lol

To pass the time and add an element of fun, today will mark the first day of "Aimee's Daily Craving".  This will get me thinking of ALL the wonderful things I'm missing and will be SO glad to get back...AND it will also get my butt on this blog more often so you can see the new me emerge (the doctor SAYS it's going to happen).   So, check back each day and I'll tell you what food I'm thinking of and wishing I was chewing!  Okay, so now that I write it out, it sounds like a lot more fun for me than for you - but hey, humor me and take a look anyway!


Aimee's Daily Craving:

Tacos!!

Weight loss to date:  12 lbs.

My Husband, My Best Friend.

Day 8 - wow...we're officially into the second week of this godforsaken operation and recovery phase.  We've both been terrible about updating in the last couple of days but it's been crazy around here.  Brian is working two jobs - literally.  He has been working from home for ACS, busting his butt getting things done for some projects that are set to be rolled out the end of this week.  To top that off, he's my full time nurse and I don't think I can or will ever be able to say enough about what a fantastic job he's done.  He would be better at describing it because honestly, much of the last week has been a blur for me and I don't remember many things very clearly.  That's why the information on here has been spotty at best, my mind is mush.  But, I'll tell you from my vantage point and he can write a rebuttal if he feels it necessary. Unfortunately, there's no liquid form of percocet, which means that each pill has to be crushed, then mixed in water, sucked into a syringe, then shot down my throat.  I can't begin to tell you how horrible it tastes.  Brian crushes each and every one of those pills - not only does he do it for the ones I need to take at that moment, but he'll prep them so they're there, waiting for me in the middle of the night if I need them.  He stands there while I take it - so patient, because I might not get quite all of the pill so I need more liquid.  The kitchen is set up like a lab - he's got it down to a science.  Tylenol - he has to first put it into a cup, which he then has to suck up into a syringe and give to me.  (For all you parents...you know how our kids always fought with us when we had to get them to take the little bit of children's Tylenol and thought "how bad can this be, it's cherry flavored?  And really, it's only a LITTLE bit."  I get it!  Next time your child has a headache or needs to bring down a fever.....when you're dispensing that bit of liquid - give them love, give them praise because it may LOOK easy, but it's really not! )  I can't feel my face.  When I drink, I drool and my nose has begun to run from the septoplasty - Brian will just quietly and gently grab a kleenex, wipe and go onto other things.  He doesn't make an issue of it, nor do I anymore.  But if I'm not looking hideous, it's all because of him.  I would swear that I have magic glasses around the house because each time I go to get a drink of water or Gatorade, it's fresh.  Why?  Because my wonderful husband filled them again.  I can't tell you now just how many trips Brian has made to either the grocery store or CVS in the last week but it's more than I can count.  If I need it and we don't have it, he gets it.  He's exhausted and I can see it.  He's so thoughtful and so caring and I know it hurts him that I'm having such a tough time with this yet he just keeps going.  But each day, when I look in his eyes, I can see the pain, I can see the exhaustion.  Honey, I love you and I am so lucky to have you.  And to everyone else - when you get a chance, tell my husband what an awesome job he's doing - he deserves it.

Day 7 - What's Up Doc?

The sweet smell of....ME!  A nice shower and we're off shortly to see Dr. Posnick for my first post-op visit at 1:30 pm.  I'll be glad to go...we've got some questions and the biggest one is, "When will this pressure and pain go away???"  I think if he doesn't answer that one to my liking, my next one will be, "What is your address so you can meet my hit man?"  hehehehe  Okay, so maybe that's going just a little TOO far....but hey, when a girl's in pain like this, she's bound to lash out somehow, right?  :-)

Day 6 - Is It Sunday Already?

I just realized it's Sunday - time has flown since being admitted to the hospital last Tuesday.  I haven't been on here much, I know, but I hope to change that soon.  I won't sugarcoat anything...it's been a really rough two days.  I hurt a lot and the pressure and pain in my face is like nothing I've ever felt before.  The swelling isn't going down, it's merely changing - moving from one area to the next to the next.  If you ask me, I think I look like a moose.  Ask my husband, he'll probably agree.  (my two cents (Brian), I still say John Madden, a moose would be less scary).  Hmmmmm, he snuck that in there while I was taking a nap - that's right, honey, go ahead and kick a girl when she's down!  :-)

Drugs - they are a godsend.  I'm on Percocet and Tylenol for pain and swelling,  Dimetapp and Saline spray for congestion and Keflex to ward off any infections.  Even though it seems like Brian is a total pusher and is giving these to me every 15 minutes, I don't think that's the case.  I'm just so sick of medications I could cry.

And speaking of...I know that my best friend, Londa, is wondering if I've cried.  Yes!  Like a baby!!!!! Most of you know that I'm normally a pretty upbeat person.  And in most normal situations, I am.  This is no normal situation and as positive as I'm trying to be, it has its down sides.  I don't care that I can't eat, that's not a concern yet, because frankly, I haven't had much of an appetite.  (Weight loss is at an official 10 pounds since date of surgery).  Nor do I care what I look like - I can deal with the Moose and John Madden look.  I think it just hits from time to time when Brian hands me yet another plunger full of antibiotic to shove into my throat, or when I'm lying on my back and Brian grabs hold of my leg and I realize I haven't been breathing because it's just so difficult TO breathe.  Some things just aren't "normal" so if you don't mind, the inner baby in me WILL come out and I fully intend to have my pity parties.  Y'all are more than welcome to join!

Day 5

Hi all.  Just saw that Brian updated a bit last night - glad he threw in the most beautiful of all the pictures.....lol.

This won't be long, but I wanted to let everyone know how things are going.  My biggest frustration right now is lack of breathing.  Having had the septoplasty, it's very, very difficult to breathe right now and the pressure is almost unbearable.  Aside from that, I'm trying to move around a bit today to take my mind off things.  I'm extremely uncomfortable and can't seem to find a "good" spot.  They've told me that this part of things will likely get better after 10-14 days...I sure hope it starts sometime soon!

I've gotten everyone's well wishes via email, text message, Facebook, etc - thank you!  Right now, it's impossible for me to respond to each and every one, but please know that I'm getting them and will respond as soon as I'm able!

Part II - The Real Story

Part I was the story leading up to the surgery.  And even the surgery itself.  Everyone's concern, love, well-wishes certainly gave Aimee additional strength to walk in the hospital doors, put her faith and future in strangers' hands and come through it.  Now that she's out and home recuperating, the next part of this story begins.  Actually, it's the greatest and longest part of the story, lest anyone think that whatever happens now is anti-climatic.   In Aimee's situation, the triumph isn't getting through surgery, going through recovery, coming home.  It's the next five to seven weeks of endurance.  To illustrate, I'd like each of  you reading this try the following "simple" three steps and try them each for a minute to see how you do:

1) clinch your teeth, close your lips.  Talk. Without moving your jaw or your lips.  The only vocal sounds you can make are with your tongue.  Aimee misses her "P's" and "B's" now that she can't say them lol.

2) Next time you're at a fast food joint, grab a straw.  Now put the end of the straw in your mouth.  Pinch your nose with your fingers.  Breathe.  That's all the air that Aim can get with each breath.

3) Get a glass of water.  Pinch your nose, clinch your teeth.  Drink the glass of water.  Seems like an easy thing to do, until you realize that you have to breathe. 

And that's life for the next five weeks at least.  No solid food.  Liquids only.  No talking in a completely intelligible sense.  But that's what she signed up for.  She's the strongest person I know.  I couldn't do it.

A Retrospective

Since I fell down on the job of keeping this up to date, I'm going to digress and post some on the more poignant pictures of the past two days.  As Aimee said, time really has no meaning this week, minutes merge with hours, events of a day are blurred with those of other days.  We're living in the moment of getting to the next point in time when the next dose of antibiotic is due, when the next pain med can be given, when the litany of necessary care must be attended to.  Be that as it may, may I present Aimee in her finest moment !!!  Here are some pics from the past two day.

"I've got a lot to say, really."

Ok, someone talk to the nutritionist.  Since when do orders for "Liquid Only" mean oatmeal that could be used as mortar, chunks of Jello that even Bill Cosby would go "ewwwwwwww", or thick yogurt that wouldn't go down a drain.  Christ people, her jaw is wired shut!  I'll bet a dollar they feed diabetics blocks of sugar.

"I forget, is the left one my fork or is the right one the knife?"  Either way, Aim doesn't need a plate.  Food in a tube is the wave of the future.  You lead the way, Aim!

 Ahhhhhh, Breeze.  Refreshing sounding beverage, isn't it?  Why not just name it for what it is, "Crap in a Box".

Now she's just showing off.  First patient they've had who used utensils while still in the hospital.

Day 2 told the entire story.  Aim's riding a wave.  From feeling ok to feeling great to feeling like a Mack truck ran over her.  The downsides outnumbered the good.

Update Time - I'm home!

I just noticed that aside from my quick coffee rant this morning, there has been no update since my sleepless night.  No worries, I'll scold my hubby!  :-)  And stop talking about my hair - I KNOW I haven't had a shower in 4 days!!!

I'll just start from right now and if Brian wants to add anything, he can do so.  I don't remember a whole lot from the past 3 days so I probably can't be of much help.  But since I'm feeling just a little better this morning, I'll do what I can before I drift back to sleep.  I'm home!  My doctor released me yesterday afternoon and what a joy that was to hear!  I must admit that when I first got here, I was a little nervous and almost felt like the walls were closing in.  I had access to this wonderful humidifier thing on my bed that I could just clasp over my mouth and nose and it would help my stuffiness.  I don't have it here and at first, I missed it!  But, Brian had run to the store to pick up a little humidifier and I quickly realized I could sit in front of it and get the same benefit.  The points go to Mr. Darling!  Yayyyy!  I've set up a makeshift room here in the living room - it's not ideal but it's comfortable and it allows me to be a little bit more independent.  Brian's awesome - he's a great nurse and I'll owe him dearly for this - you'll hear me say that over and over again because he really IS the best!  I must say that my first night home wasn't too bad.  I woke up about every two hours, which is a MAJOR improvement over every 40 minutes at the hospital!  The breathing is horrendous and very, very difficult.  Almost impossible to put into words.  I'd say the best way to explain it is to plug your nose and breathe through a straw in your mouth and see how simple it is.  I don't know another way to put it - it's just not fun at all.  I'm trying hard not to get panicky about it because a) it won't do me a bit of good and b) when I get panicky, I start to cry and then I get even MORE stuffed up.  It's a lose-lose situation and we'll have none of that!  haha

Just had a good bit of chicken broth - yummy!  It's really the first time I've eaten because they gave me ridiculous meals in the hospital.  Yes, I'm supposed to be on a liquid diet yet they send me this thick and chunky malt-o-meal!  Seriously!  Oh, and jello cubes and don't forget thick and creamy ice cream.  It was insane.  We finally had to ask for some broth so I could get something into my system besides water!  Along with the chicken broth, I also had a Percoset which is apparently just now making itself known because my eyes are beginning to feel kinda funny.  I think this is my cue to close for now and come back again in a while or who knows what I might say!  :-)

Day 4 - Just A Cup Of Coffee

Good morning!  Believe it or not, I've already "graduated" in one respect.  Although there are certain things that are still easier taken with the syringe, I'm drinking out of a spoon and a glass already, too!  That's not to say it's pretty all the time because sometimes I miss, but I must say I'm doing okay for a first timer!  This morning, I was in the mood for a cup of coffee and that's what I'm having right now and I just say, it's pretty damned good!  It's slow and it's already cold...but I'm still going to appreciate every drop!

Patience...

It's 4:18 am - Day 3 - unfortunately, my sleeping patterns have not improved.  I won't take much of your time, but thought I would try to get my own update out there even though Brian has been doing a great job so far!

This is NOT fun.  Not that I expected it to be fun, but I must say I was thinking it might be a bit easier than it's been.  The easiest part was immediately following surgery.  I didn't feel too bad, I could speak pretty well and the swelling didn't seem to be affecting me too badly.  Yesterday and today - totaly different story.  Although everything I'm feeling right now is completely normal, that doesn't mean it feels right.  My throat has become increasingly sore from the tube they put through my nose and down my throat.  I'm also having trouble breathing so it's frustrating. I understand that having the septoplasty is, in the long run, much simpler and cost effective to do at the same time as jaw surgery, I'm rethinking just why ANYONE would choose to do it now!!!  It has made breathing ridiculously difficult!  I can't complain too much about pain in my nose, though, so that's a good thing.  It's a bit tender, but other than that, not too bad.

Sorry to make this short but time to go back to sleep for a short time.  I'll try to get you more updates as the day progresses.  Thanks for all your love and support - I've gotten your messages from Brian.

It's over

Aimee's surgery lasted almost exactly three hours.  Afterward, the surgeon stayed with her for about thirty minutes to make sure all was well.  He had nothing but praises for how she was and how her body was reacting to the surgery.  One worry about the surgery was the possibility of having a transfusion due to blood loss.  This type of surgery is extremely invasive to facial tissue and can cause massive bleeding.  True to form, Aim refused to be a normal patient.  There was very little bleeding which aided the surgery immensely.  All told:

- her lower jaw was cut away on both sides towards the back
- her upper jaw, the same
- her upper jaw was cut into three pieces and spread apart in the rear to widen her bite
- her septum had corrective surgery to widen passages
- a piece of cadaver bone was implanted in her chin to extend it properly
- pieces of her septum we removed and implanted in her upper jaws to fill in the voids created by the replacement of her jaws

That's just a summary of what happened.  The details would take much, much more space.   Back to the day's events... Aimee was supposed to be in the recovery room for 2 to 3 hours.  After one hour, I was allowed to go see her in recovery for about 5 minutes. 

Usually, no one is allowed in recovery, but in this case, the nurses had a feeling that she could be there a little longer than planned.  Not due to any medical condition she had, but medical conditions others had.  Apparently, there weren't any rooms in ICU available just yet.  My first impression of Aimee was Wow.  There wasn't much swelling, she was in great spirits, joking, making faces.  It was a quick five minute visit.  An hour later, I was able to visit for another five minutes.  Another hour later, another five.  Another hour later, another five.  Another hour later, another five.  How many hours is that?  Seems that our reservation for the deluxe suite had been misplaced and we were waiting for an opening.  Her frustration and discomfort were growing by the minute having to lay in an open room with a dozen or more other patients in varying degrees of discomfort themselves.  It was bright, noisy and anything but restful.  At 7:40pm, a room on the 4th floor ICU opened up and Aimee was moved to peace and quiet.  Indeed, silence is golden.  The nursing staff we met that night were wonderful.  Every question answered, every request filled to make her as comfortable as possible.  Had to leave a little after 10 that night.  Day one was a turning point in her life.  A new, healthier, happier person will emerge from this ordeal.  But as of today, Aimee's comment at seeing pictures of her was "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww".  Day one ended with the operation's effects settling in.  Swelling, pressure, pain, difficulty breathing, nausea.

Look Ma, no hands!

Hmmmm, starting to look like John Madden

And the truth comes out !!!

Today's the Day

Tuesday, May 11, 3:30 am.  On behalf of Aimee (hubby here), what originally looked like a long twelve months of braces has flown by and today the start of another adventure begins.  The day began very early for us, alarms going off at various times between 3 am and 3:30 am trying to prod us out of bed.  Again, we thought we had plenty of time to leave the house and get to admissions by 5:30, but there's always last minute things to do.  Animals fed, house secure, car packed with every item needed for 3 days in the hospital, we headed out at 5am.  Traffic in DC is great at that hour.  Made it in 20 minutes.  Registered and signed in by 5:40.  Then it was off to admissions.  After a little waiting, we were ushered off to pre-op by 6:30.  There the pace picked up.  Aimee changing into her stylish but understated hospital gown, the anesthesiologist stopping by and inserting the IV.  Another anathesiologist stopping by.  A parade of nurses and then the surgeon, Dr. Posnick.  All asking the same litany of questions over and over and over.  We could only assume that they wanted to ensure that they worked on the correct body part when the time came, but really, Aimee only has one jaw so it's not like they could get that wrong.

Paperwork signed, all questions answered, and the time is now 7:40.  The surgeon informs us that the procedure will start about 8:30.  It should last 3 hours.  After that, Aimee would be in recovery for 2 to 3 hours as they monitor her condition.  Then she would be moved to ICU for at least 24 hours of round the clock care.  The time has come for Aimee to go.  The anesthesiologist injects the first of the drugs to carry her off to a blissful sleep.  Took a second, but her eyes slowly became larger, a smile came across her face, and then she broke out into song. Yes, singing.  Everyone bid goodbye and began wheeling Aimee through the doors marked "Authorized Personnel".  The doors began to close and Aimee's song faded down the corridor.

This Is It!

It's almost time - tomorrow is the big day we've been preparing for - one year in the making!  Surgery will be at Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, D.C.  We have to arrive at 5:30 am and surgery is set for 7:30 am.  I'm first on the list so unless my surgeon decides to sleep in, I won't have to wait!  :-) 

It's my last supper...hahaha....so the meal tonight is surf & turf (ribeyes and shrimp) and artichokes.  Ashley is joining us and opted for chicken and corn on the cob so we've got a bunch of things happening in the kitchen right now!  I've been getting laundry done and packing things for the next three days in the hospital.  Let's see...iPod, Kindle, computer, Flip, camera, dry-erase board and lots of chapstick.  Some comfy clothes and socks round out the list!  I think that's all we need. 

My mental state right now is undetermined.  I'm really not nervous for the surgery itself, more so about what to expect afterwards.  How is it going to feel?  What will I look like?  How am I going to "say" what's on my mind???  And, of course, will it hurt?  I suppose it won't be long now before I'll know. Brian will keep everyone updated and let you know how things are going.  I'll be chomping (well, maybe not) at the bit wanting to turn on my computer, so as soon as I'm feeling up to it, I'll let everyone know firsthand how I'm doing.

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes and thoughts.  I have complete trust in my surgeon and know that we're on the path to a much better life!  See you on the other side!  :-)

I'm Hooked!

Last minute preparations are done!  I made a visit to Dr. Gerlein's office today to have my surgical hooks put on - these will enable Dr. Posnick to keep my mouth in a good resting position during and after surgery and is what the bands will be attached to.  It took quite a while and I'm a little sore, but all in all, it wasn't too bad!  I feel, however, like I've got more metal in my mouth than a Transformer!  :-)  My visits to the orthodontist are always fun and full of laughs, everyone wishes me well and I even got a hug from Dr. G.  I love you guys!!

Below are "final" pictures of what I look like now after nearly a year in braces...then a close up of the hooks I'm now sporting!

It's On! Bring It!

I got the much anticipated phone call from my doctor today - my test results were in.  And the results were...........negative!!!  What a relief!  Surgery is on as planned - here we go!

Livin' On The Wine...Oops, Wild Side!

Ha!  What do those doctors know anyway?  I looked a little online and although doctors will warn of not having alcohol with my medication because it will make you violently ill, studies don't back up the claims.  Of course, that gave me the go ahead to at least TRY it...just a sip or two, right???  Hey, I'm doing fine!   Now, before I get scolded by BOTH moms...I'll have you know that I only had a few sips and that's it, I didn't have a glass so no scolding necessary!  :-) But it was ohhhhhhhh so good!  hehe

I Just Want A Glass Of Wine!

Really....that's all I'm asking for......wine!!!  Sadly, with the medication I'm taking, I can't drink a drop of alcohol.  Apparently, the side effects are not good and unlike other medications, where they say you "shouldn't" drink anything, this one is "absolutely not!!"  *sigh*  On a positive note - I want to hug the person that created O'Doul's...it might not be the best, but it works!  :-) (note: friends were visiting this past weekend and sadly, they didn't have O'Doul's so had to settle for St. Pauli - ick!)