And another Anniversary!

Another year has gone by - it always amazes me how quickly time passes.

May 11th, 2012 was my two-year Anniversary.  We didn't whoop it up - it simply passed by without a sound.  Everything has become normal now - the tingling, the loss of feeling, the feel of talking and eating.  It's funny, though - I don't notice these things now unless they're brought to my attention.  Ashley laughs at me because I will occasionally have the spare bit of food on my lip that I don't feel and has to remind me to brush it off.  LOL

For those of you that don't know it, there is an app out there called "The Ugly Meter".  Dad brought this to my attention during a recent visit to Arizona after reading about it in the newspaper.  Of course, I had to download and try it. 

My surgeon is a GENIUS!  Take a look at that!  0.0 out of 10 on the ugly scale.  Doesn't get any better than this!

New Things...

I can whistle! Yay!

LOL..so that's the excitement the last few months. Pretty uneventful here, as things just continue to move forward. I've lost feeling in part of my left cheek again and have pain every so often. Nothing bad, but it lets me know it's there. Maybe it's the cadaver bone talking to me - telling me that I'm not living life as it would like. Who knows. I'm happy to say that the number of sinus infections I get is far less than what it used to be. It's the little things that matter.

Still a few dental procedures to go through - have to get a crown on a molar that's cracked and time to finally replace all my fillings. This has to be done because through the years, I clenched my teeth so hard to try to find a good resting spot for my jaw that I literally wore them down to nothing. I've had two root canals in the last few months, they went swimmingly with no complications. I've managed to break not one, but two of my retainers so Dr. Gerlein just shakes his head at me. Finally got a third, a different kind this time, so cross your fingers for me that it remains intact. When I picked it up yesterday, Dr. Gerlein said I don't have to go back for 7 months. Yeah, right. Like I won't break *something* in those 7 months. He has more faith in me than I do! Besides, I'd miss them if I couldn't see them every couple of months. It's a part of my journey that I enjoyed so much - visiting the orthodontist. It's such a fantastic place. Dr. G and the girls - I can't say enough about them. If you need a top notch ortho, don't hesitate - go there. If I do nothing else today, I know I've done one good deed by giving credit where credit is due. Love you guys!

It's My Anniversary!

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Except not the married kind. Today marks one year of the "new me". May 11, 2010 was the day I went singing into surgery for my jaw. It has been a very long road - a lot of pain, a lot of stress and the recovery continues. I still struggle with loss of feeling, having to form words differently and eating, something I LOVE to do! The nerves are continuing to regenerate so something as simple as brushing my teeth is still painful in its own way and just an odd feeling all the way around. I still can't feel my gums. My bottom lip is still tingly but much better than it used to be. I knew going into this that I would never fully regain feeling in my face so I'm okay with it. Nevertheless, it still bugs me sometimes.

The best part of this? I am pain free!!!!!! Do you have any idea how nice it is to chew a piece of steak into little itty bitty pieces and THEN swallow it? Something so many of us take for granted, I couldn't do for years! And smiling. Okay, well, I was never so vain that I didn't smile because of how I looked. But hey, if they're gonna fix you AND make you look better, who am I to argue? At the risk of SOUNDING vain, let me just say that I smile at myself in the mirror every single morning. And I do it proudly! I'm happy with how I look. :)

So...for your viewing pleasure, I give you....my (musical) journey: (NOTE: The video is large so once you click on it, you may want to let it sit and buffer or it will continue to stop and start.)

My Journey

Getting To The Root Of The Problem...

Ever been excited for a root canal? I have! And yesterday was the day. Really, never in my lifetime did I think I would be so excited for dental work. But, my tooth (#18 if you're wondering) has been quite uncomfortable for the last couple of weeks. Since Brian and I are leaving soon for the Caribbean, the docs thought it would be better to expedite the process and "git 'er done!" First things first, let me introduce to you another new doctor in my life - Dr. Michael Weber, Endodontist - or "just Mike", as he calls himself. Boy, am I happy my dentist referred me to him! What a great guy - smart, charming, witty - with a crude sense of humor. My kind of guy!! He shot me up with some novocaine and let it do its thing. He came back in about 10 minutes later and said, "Are we numb?" Huh...the weird thing is that I wasn't! He shook his head and said "Yep, I wondered about that - that's why I asked you what surgery you had done." I wouldn't have thought of this...but because they moved my jaws, the "normal" spot they would give you a shot isn't there anymore! So, a few shots later and I was happily drooling and chewing on myself. Let the fun begin!! It all started out well but became less than fun when he told me that it was a good thing I'd come in - two of my three roots were infected. No wonder I had pain. *sigh* Leave it to me to have something MORE wrong than just a plain old toothache. Oh, and did I mention that the tooth is cracked? Uh huh...yep, you got it! We'll work on that later. For now, he worked on the issue at hand - cleaning and irrigating the infection, then closing me up. Because one of the roots was fine, he was able to do that one 100% and get it packed and closed. The other two are now temporarily closed and I have a temporary filling in my tooth, I'm on antibiotics (500mg Amoxicillin for 10 days) and have to do salt water washes, as well. I'll go back when we return from our vacation to make sure my body has rid itself of the infection and then he can go ahead and make everything permanent.

But wait, there's more! When I was done and getting ready to leave, I felt as though I had a piece of something stuck towards the back of my mouth. You know that spot...kind of between the back of your mouth, next to your tongue...and you jusssst can't work it out. So, into the bathroom I go to see if I can get this chunk of whatever out of my mouth. I open my mouth in front of the mirror and, "Ahhhh, there it is - just a little white piece of something!" OW! "That thing is connected!" LOL Yep...towards the back of my mouth, to the left of that fun little dangly thing in your mouth (yes, I know the technical term for it but "fun little dangly thing" sounds much more exciting), is a white bump and it hurt! Why is it white? Well, because whatever it is is pushing through the skin and stretching it! I get the doctor and interrupted his lunch, to find out what on earth he left in my mouth, cause I'm convinced that's what he did. Wrong. It's a bone spur - and not just one, but two! I had to ask why I'd never noticed them before and he said that more than likely, with the movement of my jaw, they became more prominent and also because the sensor that they put back and forth into my mouth during the root canal had irritated the spots. I'll check with Dr. Penski next time I'm there and see if it's something I have to have taken care of. Joy.

Life Is Good!

Oh my, I just realized that I haven't updated since going in to have the splint removed from my nose! I'll spare you the gory details because it wasn't pretty when they took it out, but wow!! What a difference! It's been some time now since having it removed and all is well! I can breathe - and I can breathe normally!!!! Finally!

Let me update you on what else is happening. Each day is better and better but things still continue to change. Where I once had feeling under my left eye, is now a bit numb again. I still have numbness in my bottom lip and gums but it's all workable and unless I am reminded of it, I really don't think about it much anymore. I'm still having a hard time using the Sonicare toothbrush because the nerves just don't like it and it sends shooting pain into my face from time to time. But in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing.

I've still got several dental items that need to be taken care of and we're slowly chipping away at them. The tooth (molar) that began this entire process (as my dentist so reminds me) is giving me trouble again so I'll be going in for a root canal on Tuesday. Another one down! :) Never thought I'd be looking forward to fillings, caps and root canals but now that I have this million dollar smile, I don't want to leave any stone unturned.

Something I haven't mentioned and would like to do so now. Over New Year's, I had the privilege of meeting a fellow jaw surgery patient and someone I am proud to call my friend. I began following Graham's blog shortly after I was home from the hospital (check my links for his blog) and the help he provided was priceless. I felt so alone and had so many questions and he helped me through. Brian and I made a trip to NYC for the New Year and it just so happened that Graham would be traveling there, as well. Suffice to say, there was NO way I would pass up a chance to meet. We did so and what a treat that was! We spent a couple of hours walking through Times Square, talking about our lives and getting to know one another better. The only complaint I have is that the visit was too short! I can't wait till we meet again! I'd like to share with you what I think is one of my most favorite pictures! The smiles say it all!

Take It Off!

Finally! Today is the day - the splint comes out of my nose! My appointment with Dr. Troost is at 3:45 pm today and comes with mixed emotions. I'm anxious to have it removed because it really is a pain in the butt (errrr, nose??). I can feel it and it's still sitting right on my tickle spot and makes me sneeze endlessly! But...I know it's going to hurt like a b&*ch to have it removed! Think about it...this thing has been on my healing septum now for two weeks...you know darn good and well that it's grown along with it and that taking it off will feel like yanking pieces of my brain! LOL Okay, so maybe that's a bit over-dramatic, but I don't care...I'd rather go in with a pessimistic attitude, only to be surprised and walk out with a smile on my face!

Please, please, pleeeeeeaaaaaase let it not hurt! Updates later!

Holy Ouchies, Batman!

I'm alive! I feel like someone is jabbing a knife into my brain, but I'm alive! Surgery on Thursday was a success! Although I went in a bit late (7:45 am), I was out and home just shortly after 11 am! Everything went smoothly. Dr. Troost took some cartilage from elsewhere in my nose (doesn't this create another hole???) and was able to patch the perforation on my septum. I left the hospital with a nose packed full of who knows what and some good drugs. The rest of that day is pretty much a blur and sleeping that evening was no fun. Yesterday (Friday) morning I had a doc appt. at 9:30 am to remove the packing and as a general follow up to make sure things went well. The trip in to DC was amusing in itself...you might want to ask Brian about it because apparently I was "a lot of fun". Pain meds will do that. And, the picture above shows what I looked like traveling in to the doc by metro - lovely, huh? Removing the packing - OW! OW! OW! May I just say that it was NO fun and I hope I never have to do that again? The pain was only momentary, but whew, did it hurt! How those 2 1/2 inch long pieces of whatever they were fit up there is beyond me! I swore he was pulling my brain out through my nose! LOL Once the tears cleared, I realized that I could sniff! And that my sniffer felt different! Yippee! I've still got a splint in my nose and will have for the next two weeks - he'll take it out on December 17th, just in time for Christmas! I still didn't sleep very well last night - now that the packing it out, I have a lot of clotting and drainage (sorry for the visual) and I'm very stuffy. My nose also burns like crazy inside! This will go away in a few days, or so the doc says. :) Other than these few things, I'm feeling surprisingly good today and am on the mend! I'm still restricted to no lifting or strenuous activities for 2 weeks, but the time will pass quickly, I'm sure. I do believe that this would be called progress!!

Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done! Well, Almost...

Tomorrow is the day. Let's hope we're close to an end to this nonsense they call recovery! I just received a phone call from Dr. Troost's office (he's my ENT, by the way). Surgery to repair my torn septum was originally scheduled at 9:15 am but I've been moved up so I go in at 7 am instead! If all goes well, I should be walking out of the hospital by noon! Keep your fingers crossed that it's fixable because they've said that although they believe they can take care of it, there's a chance it won't be 100% fixed. Ugh, that would SO not be fun!

For the record, my nose doesn't hurt and I'm not in any pain. But, the perforation makes breathing uncomfortable and it just plain feels weird! Try this on for size:

You go to McDonald's and buy yourself a fountain drink. You grab a straw. Soda in one hand, straw in the other...what do you do? You bang the straw on the counter to get it to poke through the paper. When you bang it too hard, what happens? Yep...the straw gets a perforation and when you try to drink through it, you have that "open air" feeling, you can't quite get the suction you need. It just doesn't work like it should, right?

This is how my nose feels when I breathe...it's incredibly irritating! And, I whistle. I've contemplated learning some songs and putting myself on the Letterman Show but so far, I haven't gotten a call back. Maybe another time. NOT!

Wish me luck! Maybe tomorrow will finally be the end of the carnival and someone will let me off this ride! Please? Anybody??

What Does Happiness Mean To You?

I've asked myself this question time and time again. There are several answers to this.

• Happiness is...Family
• Happiness is...Good Health
• Happiness is...Good Friends
• Happiness is...Wealth
• Happiness is...NO BRACES!!!!!!!!!

I am officially free of my braces! Or, as Ashley would say..."Mom's no longer a brace face". :)

November 23, 2010...it's a day I'll not soon forget. What a wonderful and exciting day. My appointment at Dr. Gerlein's office began at 11:55 am and what transpired was something amazing. I can't believe how it feels! I can't believe how it looks! And to be honest, I haven't stopped smiling since that day! I've never been vain, nor have I ever been too concerned about my looks. I did this to get rid of the pain of several years and not for looks. But for right now, I'm going to just enjoy this a little bit and not feel the least bit guilty about smiling at each mirror I pass! The before and after pics are to your right....judge for yourself and let me know what you think of the new me!

Some quick information. All told, it took about 2 hours for everything to be finished. First, they attached my permanent retainer behind my bottom front teeth. Then, they removed the brackets and wires! Heaven! I got to brush my teeth - sans metal! Yippee!!! Then, it was Dr. Gerlein's turn - time to get the glue off my teeth. I have to admit, it hurt a little bit but it's because I have so much sensitivity right now in my mouth with the nerve regeneration. But, it was a small and sweet victory when it was finished...all trace of "brace face" was gone! :) Once everything was cleaned off, it was time for some quick impressions. First, an impression of my upper jaw so they could make my retainer. Next, impressions of both top and bottom - "records" for Dr. Gerlein. I'll be famous! Because of the severity of my jaw issues and the transformation (without issue) that has taken place, Dr. Gerlein will be sending my case and records off to the Dental Boards for study. I'm not sure if this is something to be excited about or not! LOL

I MUST give credit where credit is due! On my left, the most wonderful orthodontist in the entire world - Dr. Gerlein. He is amazing and fantastic and I know that my experience with adult orthodontia would NOT have been the same had it not been for him. And on my right, Connie - just one of the several awesome and wonderful ladies that work in the office - the one who had the honor of setting me free!

Bracing For Change....

We're getting close! I went to the orthodontist on Wednesday - had impressions done on my bottom jaw for my permanent retainer. It will, in fact, be a Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday for me with no braces! Yayyyy!

Sniffer Repair...

It's been a while since I last posted, so sorry! Let me get you up to date on the latest happenings.

I can almost feel my chin....entirely! My top lip is no longer numb. The gums of my bottom jaw are beginning to regain just a small amount of feeling. I have zero, count it....ZERO....feeling in the gums of my upper jaw. The feeling on the roof of my mouth is almost all back so I no longer worry about burning the heck out of my mouth when eating pizza. The left side of my face under my eye is still a little numb, as is my bottom lip....but all very do-able. If no more feeling came back, I'd be absolutely fine with it!

Chewing is still difficult and I struggle with it daily. Talking, as much as I love to do it, is also difficult and I still have to think about many of the words my mouth is forming. I still spit and drool from time to time. If it bothers Brian, he keeps quiet. Such a wonderful husband. :) All in all, things are progressing nicely....except for....

...my nose. *sigh* As you all know, it's been giving me trouble since the surgery. Surgeon said it was normal, ENT said it wasn't. After three or so weeks of antibiotics, nasal sprays and ointments (and no changes), surgery is slated for December 2nd. At that time, he'll repair my torn septum so it feels right and I stop whistling and open up my turbinates a bit more so I can breathe normally. Yayyyy! Finally. No more whistlin' Dixie as a bedtime song! Ugh.

Surgery...as I said, December 2nd. It's an outpatient procedure, nothing like the one I had done in May!! I'll go back the following day and have the packing removed, then a couple more days of down time and I should be good to go! I'll be so glad when it's done!

I visited the orthodontist last week - had impressions done of my mouth. I go back this week on Wednesday and....drumroll....should find out when I get my braces off! He has to look at the models to see what final adjustments he has to make before they come off! But, it looks as if we're still on target for December sometime. If he doesn't have a date for me on Wed., he will at my next appt. I can't WAIT to know!

Although I'm still struggling with a few aspects of how I look....here I am!!!

Who "Nose"?

Today's verdict? Not good news. At least it's not in my head (uhhh, well, I guess it kind of is..lol), there IS something wrong. :( Sadly, I have a tear in my septum and I guess the surgeon wasn't aggressive enough in cleaning out the turbinates and due to the changes in my nose, they're plugged and inflamed. This is why I can't breathe and the rip in the septum is causing the whistle and the pain. The tear is still bleeding and it's raw inside my nose and this is why I'm also having the issue of bleeding. So, back to doing very little - he doesn't want the blood pumping if it's not necessary, to let some of the inflammation go down. He also prescribed some medicine and some nose spray for comfort. Unfortunately, he doesn't expect they will do much and that I'll have to go back in to repair the damage. I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of being tired and it really pisses me off that my surgeon kept telling me that it was "normal". Ugh.

Day ?????

I don't know the day and I'm done counting. If you want to know, you do the math :) Wow, May 11th seems like an eternity ago...yet it really hasn't been all that long. Crazy, huh?

Things are going pretty well, with the exception of my nose. I'm having troubles and it's time to get it checked out. I'm going to see Dr. Troost, my ENT, on Monday afternoon. I can't breathe well and my nose hurts. I've got some stuff coming out of my nose that just isn't right and isn't what I consider normal. I'll spare you the details. I'll keep you posted...I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats.

Aside from my nose, things are going pretty well. The swelling is going down and since it has, I can now feel the screws and brackets in my face. Creepy. They're tender to the touch which is good and bad...rough when I go to wash or wipe my face, but kinda neat that I finally have some sensation. The left side of my face is still a bit numb, as is my chin and bottom lip, but it's slowly repairing itself. I still get a vague sensation of drooling when I drink something, but it's not as bad as it used to be. My left cheek was almost back to normal and is now numb again. It comes and it goes. I'm used to it now. I think my chin is what I'm most excited about. Finally, the feeling is almost completely back. I like this because it was uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my gums are still almost completely numb yet I have some sensation so I still can't use my Sonicare toothbrush - have to do it manually. The vibration of the Sonicare is too much for my teeth to handle and becomes painful. This too, shall pass.

I had an orthodontist appointment about a week ago and we're on track! Besides a very minor adjustment, we're at the point now where we're just in a holding pattern. This means that we're on for the braces to come out of my mouth in December! Yes!!!!!!!! While total recovery is a long ways off, at least I can get the braces off and feel semi-normal again. Freedom! I see a big, fat Smith & Wollensky steak on the horizon and I can almost reach out and grab it. :)

Day 119 - Whoa...4 Months!

Tomorrow will mark 4 months post-surgery. As a side note, it'll also mark Brian's birthday so we've got a couple of things to celebrate! Four months might not be much, but I'll admit it seems like it's been forever. Someone asked me the other day - if I had to do it all over again, would I go through with it? My answer: I'm not sure. I'm still having issues with my nose and it's uncomfortable and extremely irritating and I don't like my new face. Sometimes I look in the mirror and hope for the old me. I don't miss the pain I used to have, that I'll admit. I'm being impatient, I know...and I'm wanting things to just turn around so I can be done with this already! When will I be able to eat normally? When will my nose feel right again? When will I look "normal"? So many questions - somehow I don't think I'll get the answers anytime soon. Maybe once these are answered, I'll be able to answer the "would I do it again" question. When I asked my surgeon if what I was feeling in my nose was "normal", he said he didn't think there was anything wrong but if I want, I'm welcome to see the ENT. Hmmm, not sure I like being pawned off on another doc. Then again, he's done a few of these and probably knows what he's doing so I've taken his word for it and I'm letting things heal at their pace.

I don't notice daily changes, not even weekly changes. But, I DO have changes. I gave Brian a kiss the other day and realized that it didn't hurt anymore! I have regained almost all the feeling in my top lip now! My bottom lip is still pins and needles, but it doesn't hurt to the touch. However, if I run my tongue inside my lips and they stretch even a little bit, it's painful. Nerves, I guess. I still have slight numbness down the left side of my face but the right side is completely back to normal. My chin also has some numbness but it's MUCH better than it was. If I regained no more feeling than I have now, I'd be perfectly happy and could deal with it. As it stands now, I almost don't think about it anymore. These are the positive things I hang on to.

Day 104 - And On A Good Note...

...nothing has changed! hahahaha

Past the 100 day mark, crazy huh? Part of me says, "Wow, it's already been 3 months??" and the other part of me says, "Ugh, it's ONLY been 3 months??" Don't get me wrong...I'm still glad I did this, I know that once I'm through the recovery period, I'll be SO happy. But for now, it's not fun, it's not easy and it's very frustrating. I don't always notice it, but my emotions run wild sometimes. I suppose I should just apologize now for the dumb things I do. lol

All I'm doing now is focusing on the orthodontic end of things. I have to go back in to see Dr. Gerlein on September 9th. So far, things are looking good and I'm on target to get these godforsaken braces removed in December. I just keep all crossables crossed that it'll happen!

I just recently went in to see Dr. Penski, my dentist. She's the one that started this entire chain of events! Love her! She's amazing! And for those that are looking for a fantastic dentist, she's the one! Anyway...I had my teeth cleaned at the beginning of August. They said that this is the first time my gums looked healthy - no problems at all! I don't remember the last time this happened but I'll take it!

My nose is still giving me trouble, it really bothers me. There are times when it's more sore than others, but it's uncomfortable all the time. I've also got some pressure in my cheeks and nose, but I have a feeling that's sinus issues from all the rotten weather we're having in the area! Allergies are running rampant. Unfortunately, I think I'm on the list!

That's it! Nothing terrible....I'm moving along and doing well. I'll be glad when it's over, but for the time being, I'm trying to be as patient as I can be! All the well wishes from people definitely helps! A BIG thank you to everyone!!!!!!!

Day 91 - The Nose Knows...

Wow...I'm just minutes past the 3 month mark, how crazy is that? What a rollercoaster ride this has been!

So let's see, what can I tell you? All in all, I'm feeling pretty good. I still have a LOT of swelling in my face and it seems to be taking forever to improve even a little bit. For those on the outside looking at me, they don't seem to notice much. However, if you get in for a closer view, it's quite apparent that it's there. I am also still quite numb in much of the left side of my face and my chin. My gums are also numb. Eating is so-so. Although I'll try almost anything, I still have trouble. Range of motion is coming along, albeit slowly and it's a chore to eat. I do it and I don't complain, but inside, I'm throwing my plate against the wall. lol

I don't have any pain now, with the exception of my nose. (and my cheeks rubbing on my brackets). My surgeon says it isn't serious so I'm waiting a bit longer in the healing process to see how things go. I still find it strange that I have a "shelf" in the cartilage inside my nose that wasn't there before surgery, but maybe it'll go away after a while. I still have a good bit of pressure inside my nose when I sneeze, if I have to blow it (which I do lightly!) or even just bending over and having the blood rush to my head.

I went to the orthodontist last week and the braces are coming off in December!!! Wooo hooo, what a wonderful Christmas/Birthday present that will be! Things are progressing nicely since the surgery and my teeth are really moving into place like they should be. Dr. Gerlein is pretty confident that we'll be able to stay on our target of the end of the year. I am SO excited! Once they come off, I have to meet with the surgeon again. I think it's just because he wants to see what I look like without my braces after all this time, but he keeps saying it's for medical reasons. Whatever. LOL

Recap: Nose hurts, face numb, chewing stinks, BRACES COMING OFF IN DECEMBER! hehehehe

Could be worse, couldn't it. :-)

Are We Done Yet?

Wouldn't it be great if we could just snap our fingers and have things our way?

I'm having a bit of pain the last week or so. :-( I'm sure much of it is just the healing process. The right side of my jaw is a bit more painful, as is the left side of my face in the upper part of my cheek bone. But the pain that concerns me is in my nose. Touching my nose is getting nearly impossible and the underside, at the top of my upper lip, is incredibly painful. I have a strange little "shelf" inside the right nostril and the cartilage is "mushy", for lack of a better word. Not sure what's going on but I'm going to contact the surgeon and see if he thinks it's normal or if I need to see him about it.

Other than that, things are moving along. I'm still eating everything I can. It takes me a long time to eat and it's still very difficult, but I'm doing it and trying hard to get back to normal. Soft foods are still my favorite but I know I can't just have those and expect to move forward. Talking is interesting. Because I have very limited feeling in my lips, left side and chin, I have to think about the words so my lips form them. It's a chore. I'm tired. Really. Nothing comes easy with jaw surgery! No pain, no gain, right?

Day 66 - The Nose Knows..

My face hurts. More specifically, my nose hurts! It's hard to touch it, I'm still not breathing quite right and it's just uncomfortable. The area on my cheeks where they did the bone grafts are very tender today for some reason. Maybe it's the weather getting to my sinuses or something, but today is just not a good day. My nose hasn't been quite right up to this point...breathing isn't bad, but it doesn't feel "normal". I suppose in another 4 or 5 months, maybe it will...I'm getting tired of waiting. Really, I am SO tired of waiting.

Day 60 - Shame On Me

Well...30 lashes with a wet noodle for me. I have been absolutely terrible about updating in the last couple of weeks. I assure you, I've thought about it time and time again, but life has been getting in the way and I just haven't taken the time. With that said, I'm thinking about it now so here I am!

We spent the 4th of July in Baltimore this year for a long weekend at the Inner Harbor and visiting my cousin, Lindsay and her husband, Mark at their house to watch the fireworks from their rooftop patio! What a beautiful sight that was - we had a wonderful time!

I'm back to work now so that keeps me busy, along with planning our family get together coming up in August. Brian and I, along with my parents, brothers and sisters (and kids) will spend a week at a cabin in Deep Creek, Maryland. Can't wait! The girls will be coming back to the DC area mid-week for my sister's baby shower and the guys will stay at the cabin and do some fishing and male bonding - or "talkin' smart" as they call it. Have fun, guys!

On June 29th, I had a visit with Dr. Posnick. This was a checkup to make sure things are going well and that I'm on track with my recovery. I got the thumbs up and he said that my range of motion is better than he would have expected so I felt pretty good about this. I'm eating anything and everything I can - easy or not. It's still extremely frustrating and very difficult. I'm able to just about bite into a burger (if I give it a good squish first) but once it's in there, then what do I do with it?? I still don't have a good "chewing" motion, if that makes sense, so once the food is in my mouth, I have a hard time moving it around and getting it to where it needs to be. I still can't feel the inside of my mouth either, so part of the problem is knowing WHERE the food is! Most of you probably don't understand that and it's hard to explain...so just know that when I eat and cover my mouth with my hand, it's so that you don't have to see what's in my mouth and so I don't drool or drop it out on the table in front of me.

This whole recovery thing is getting old. I don't hurt much. Eating takes a long time and my muscles are sore and tight before I'm full but there's really no pain other than when I yawn. It's just not comfortable. My mouth wants to open much further than it's able so there is a muscle fight when it happens. I get stuck in the middle and believe me, it doesn't feel good!

Not much has changed in my appearance. I'm still very swollen and numb. Most of you don't really "see" it...but believe me, it's there! I can feel my chin a bit more now and I can touch my lips without it feeling like someone is jabbing daggers into them, but other than that, things are pretty much the same. I have to make a conscious effort when I talk because if I don't, my mouth won't form the words correctly and I'll either spit or drool on myself (and others if you get too close!!). I still get the squiggles in my face, they drive me crazy! I also have the phantom drooling sensations (Graham, you know what I'm talking about here!!) that drive me nuts! When I take a drink of water, I would swear that the entire glass is going down my front. But when I go to wipe my chin, there's nothing there. Hmmmmm. Brushing my teeth is brutal! Most of my gums are completely numb...not even a little bit of sensation. However, a couple of my teeth are beginning to get sensation (this doesn't even make SENSE to me) so when I brush, the feeling just drives me up a wall! I've found that I can't even use the Sonicare anymore, I have to use a regular brush so I can control where and how I brush. Am I complaining? I suppose so, in my own way. But I try hard not to all the time because things really have improved. I think what gets frustrating is that people see that I'm eating or talking, and I look better than I did at the beginning so they think that I'm back to normal. I'm so far from it. :-( Never, ever assume.

Day 41 - Do I Look Crabby??

Brian and I had a fantastic weekend! We decided to put off all the home chores we had on the schedule and do something fun for ourselves instead! Saturday, we hopped in the car about noon and headed towards the Northern Neck of Virginia for Colonial Beach. What a find that was! Colonial Beach boasts the second longest beach in Virginia and it's a great little town! We walked the beach for a little while, picked up a few shells, then had a couple of beers at one of the local beach hangouts. It's only about an hour and a half away from us - we had no idea it was so close. We've always thought that the nearest large beach is Rehoboth or the VA Beach/Newport News area - 3 or 4 hours away! We didn't know we had this wonderful little find almost right around the corner! Granted, it's not on the ocean - it's the Potomac - but there's sand, water and sun. That qualifies as a beach to me! Sunday, we hopped back in the car in the morning and this time, headed in another direction that led us to the Eastern Shore - St. Michaels and Tilghman Island in Maryland. For those of you that know where Brenna and Jeremy live - from Chesapeake Beach, looking straight across the bay, you can see Tilghman Island. Of course, the only way to get there is to take the Bay Bridge so it took us close to a couple of hours. But once we arrived, we weren't disappointed! First stop? St. Michaels and The Crab Claw for lunch. I bet you can guess what I had!!!! Brian had a crab cake sandwich - lunch was a success! After lunch, we did a little window shopping, then hopped back in the car for a drive to Tilghman Island. Not much to see there other than water LOL. It was a ghost town!!! It has one very long street through town with nothing but houses. I think there was a small restaurant and a gas station, but other than that, you're out of luck! They do have a harbor there, however, where they offer skipjack tours. We had intended to do that, but by the time we got there, it was already in the high 90's and with the humidity, nearly unbearable to be outside. So, we opted to do it another time and begin our leisurely drive home instead. It was a fantastic and much needed weekend for both of us.

Not too much to report on my jaws, the changes have slowed dramatically and not much is happening. Unfortunately, the swelling isn't going down very much or as quickly as I'd hoped but each day is getting easier. I still have some pain on the right side when I chew and yawn, but it has gotten considerably better. I'm measuring my range of motion by the number of fingers I can put between my teeth. Two weeks ago, I could only fit one...and now two! So, even though it doesn't seem like much is happening, I AM making progress. I'm eating anything and everything I can get my hands on - steak, chicken, pizza, seafood - but still get either too tired or too sore before I'm full. Because of this, I am eating numerous times a day - this is good and bad. Good for obvious reasons: Nourishment and energy. Bad: Weight. I am back to where I was when I went in for surgery so I'm doing fine but if I continue to eat as I am, I'll soon need my own zip code. :-)

I'll return to see the surgeon on June 30th to make sure he's happy with the progress I've made thus far. I'm pretty confident he'll be pleased with what I'm doing. I am also officially able to exercise and go back to most of my normal routine! Obviously I couldn't go out and run a marathon, but I can carry a loaded laundry basket, that's for damn sure! hehehe Little by little, day by day...that's all I can do and so far, things are coming along nicely.