Day 119 - Whoa...4 Months!

Tomorrow will mark 4 months post-surgery. As a side note, it'll also mark Brian's birthday so we've got a couple of things to celebrate! Four months might not be much, but I'll admit it seems like it's been forever. Someone asked me the other day - if I had to do it all over again, would I go through with it? My answer: I'm not sure. I'm still having issues with my nose and it's uncomfortable and extremely irritating and I don't like my new face. Sometimes I look in the mirror and hope for the old me. I don't miss the pain I used to have, that I'll admit. I'm being impatient, I know...and I'm wanting things to just turn around so I can be done with this already! When will I be able to eat normally? When will my nose feel right again? When will I look "normal"? So many questions - somehow I don't think I'll get the answers anytime soon. Maybe once these are answered, I'll be able to answer the "would I do it again" question. When I asked my surgeon if what I was feeling in my nose was "normal", he said he didn't think there was anything wrong but if I want, I'm welcome to see the ENT. Hmmm, not sure I like being pawned off on another doc. Then again, he's done a few of these and probably knows what he's doing so I've taken his word for it and I'm letting things heal at their pace.

I don't notice daily changes, not even weekly changes. But, I DO have changes. I gave Brian a kiss the other day and realized that it didn't hurt anymore! I have regained almost all the feeling in my top lip now! My bottom lip is still pins and needles, but it doesn't hurt to the touch. However, if I run my tongue inside my lips and they stretch even a little bit, it's painful. Nerves, I guess. I still have slight numbness down the left side of my face but the right side is completely back to normal. My chin also has some numbness but it's MUCH better than it was. If I regained no more feeling than I have now, I'd be perfectly happy and could deal with it. As it stands now, I almost don't think about it anymore. These are the positive things I hang on to.