Sunday, July 25, 2010

Are We Done Yet?

Wouldn't it be great if we could just snap our fingers and have things our way?

I'm having a bit of pain the last week or so. :-( I'm sure much of it is just the healing process. The right side of my jaw is a bit more painful, as is the left side of my face in the upper part of my cheek bone. But the pain that concerns me is in my nose. Touching my nose is getting nearly impossible and the underside, at the top of my upper lip, is incredibly painful. I have a strange little "shelf" inside the right nostril and the cartilage is "mushy", for lack of a better word. Not sure what's going on but I'm going to contact the surgeon and see if he thinks it's normal or if I need to see him about it.

Other than that, things are moving along. I'm still eating everything I can. It takes me a long time to eat and it's still very difficult, but I'm doing it and trying hard to get back to normal. Soft foods are still my favorite but I know I can't just have those and expect to move forward. Talking is interesting. Because I have very limited feeling in my lips, left side and chin, I have to think about the words so my lips form them. It's a chore. I'm tired. Really. Nothing comes easy with jaw surgery! No pain, no gain, right?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Day 66 - The Nose Knows..

My face hurts. More specifically, my nose hurts! It's hard to touch it, I'm still not breathing quite right and it's just uncomfortable. The area on my cheeks where they did the bone grafts are very tender today for some reason. Maybe it's the weather getting to my sinuses or something, but today is just not a good day. My nose hasn't been quite right up to this point...breathing isn't bad, but it doesn't feel "normal". I suppose in another 4 or 5 months, maybe it will...I'm getting tired of waiting. Really, I am SO tired of waiting.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Day 60 - Shame On Me

Well...30 lashes with a wet noodle for me. I have been absolutely terrible about updating in the last couple of weeks. I assure you, I've thought about it time and time again, but life has been getting in the way and I just haven't taken the time. With that said, I'm thinking about it now so here I am!

We spent the 4th of July in Baltimore this year for a long weekend at the Inner Harbor and visiting my cousin, Lindsay and her husband, Mark at their house to watch the fireworks from their rooftop patio! What a beautiful sight that was - we had a wonderful time!

I'm back to work now so that keeps me busy, along with planning our family get together coming up in August. Brian and I, along with my parents, brothers and sisters (and kids) will spend a week at a cabin in Deep Creek, Maryland. Can't wait! The girls will be coming back to the DC area mid-week for my sister's baby shower and the guys will stay at the cabin and do some fishing and male bonding - or "talkin' smart" as they call it. Have fun, guys!

On June 29th, I had a visit with Dr. Posnick. This was a checkup to make sure things are going well and that I'm on track with my recovery. I got the thumbs up and he said that my range of motion is better than he would have expected so I felt pretty good about this. I'm eating anything and everything I can - easy or not. It's still extremely frustrating and very difficult. I'm able to just about bite into a burger (if I give it a good squish first) but once it's in there, then what do I do with it?? I still don't have a good "chewing" motion, if that makes sense, so once the food is in my mouth, I have a hard time moving it around and getting it to where it needs to be. I still can't feel the inside of my mouth either, so part of the problem is knowing WHERE the food is! Most of you probably don't understand that and it's hard to explain...so just know that when I eat and cover my mouth with my hand, it's so that you don't have to see what's in my mouth and so I don't drool or drop it out on the table in front of me.

This whole recovery thing is getting old. I don't hurt much. Eating takes a long time and my muscles are sore and tight before I'm full but there's really no pain other than when I yawn. It's just not comfortable. My mouth wants to open much further than it's able so there is a muscle fight when it happens. I get stuck in the middle and believe me, it doesn't feel good!

Not much has changed in my appearance. I'm still very swollen and numb. Most of you don't really "see" it...but believe me, it's there! I can feel my chin a bit more now and I can touch my lips without it feeling like someone is jabbing daggers into them, but other than that, things are pretty much the same. I have to make a conscious effort when I talk because if I don't, my mouth won't form the words correctly and I'll either spit or drool on myself (and others if you get too close!!). I still get the squiggles in my face, they drive me crazy! I also have the phantom drooling sensations (Graham, you know what I'm talking about here!!) that drive me nuts! When I take a drink of water, I would swear that the entire glass is going down my front. But when I go to wipe my chin, there's nothing there. Hmmmmm. Brushing my teeth is brutal! Most of my gums are completely numb...not even a little bit of sensation. However, a couple of my teeth are beginning to get sensation (this doesn't even make SENSE to me) so when I brush, the feeling just drives me up a wall! I've found that I can't even use the Sonicare anymore, I have to use a regular brush so I can control where and how I brush. Am I complaining? I suppose so, in my own way. But I try hard not to all the time because things really have improved. I think what gets frustrating is that people see that I'm eating or talking, and I look better than I did at the beginning so they think that I'm back to normal. I'm so far from it. :-( Never, ever assume.